Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #7 – Unique Self encounters require not only integrity but evolutionary integrity

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni. For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book Your Unique Self–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters. The following is one of seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

7. Unique Self encounters require not only integrity but evolutionary integrity.

Respect Ethics Honest Integrity Signpost Means Good Qualities by Stuart Miles

Picture by by Stuart Miles

Your Unique Self is also defined by your evolutionary context. In a Unique Self encounter, you seek not only romantic, pragmatic, or emotional connection. You seek evolutionary relationship. In evolutionary relationship, you seek to manifest the evolutionary potential in your meeting. You let go of the narrow narcissistic needs that initially brought you together.

[Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #6 – “Stay Open as Love Through the Pain to Engage the Encounter” by Marc Gafni

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book Your Unique Self–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following is one of seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

6. To engage in a Unique Self encounter, you  must stay  open  as love  through the pain.

Photo shared courtesy of Stuart Miles, c. 2012

Photo shared courtesy of Stuart Miles, c. 2012.

 

To make contact in a Unique Self encounter, you must know how to avoid the ritual of rejection that so often arises from the ego’s contraction. When you feel hurt, your small-self ego contracts. Unless you make an effort to counter the ego’s inertia, you fall out of divine communion. You fall into UnLove. Unique Self encounter asks that you not fall out of divine communion and become degraded by UnLove. It demands that you not get stuck in the coiled contraction of the small self.

The ego will tend to take hurt and turn it into an insult, which offends your existence. Then to compensate, you set into motion the ritual of rejection. It goes something like this: [Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #5 – “Unique Self Encounters Create Evolutionary We Space” by Marc Gafni

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book Your Unique Self–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following is one of seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

5. Unique Self Encounters Create Evolutionary We Space.

Photo used courtesy of tungphoto (c) 2011.

Photo used courtesy of tungphoto (c) 2011.

Meaningful Unique Self encounters foster the  experience of entering together into higher states of awareness and intelligence. The next evolutionary leap in consciousness involves a recognition that, together, we have access to a collective wisdom and intelligence that is much smarter than our individual intelligence.

This is, in a sense, something the mystics have always known: the whole is so much greater than the sum of its parts. What is “new” is that nowadays, in workshops and retreats, in corporate boardrooms and organizational development seminars, as well as in spiritual groups, so many people are experimenting with engaging the phenomenon of collective intelligence. [Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #4 – “You Never Know” by Marc Gafni

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following is one of seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

c. 2011 photo used courtesy of lobster20.

c. 2011 photo used courtesy of lobster20.

4. You never  know.

The goal of Unique Self consciousness  is to fully receive and be received in deep understanding and empathy. Yet how often are we simply unable to understand one another? Receiving each other becomes next to impossible because of distance, strangeness, hurry, deafness, carelessness, or inevitable differences in the languages of our Unique Selves. Try as we might, the Unique Selves of so many people are ultimately unknowable to us—just like the Unique Self of God. [Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #3 – Labels Obstruct Contact by Marc Gafni

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following is one of seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

3. Labels  obstruct contact.

c. 2011. Photo used courtesy of Sura Nualpradid.

c. 2011. Photo used courtesy of Sura Nualpradid.

 

Labels can be anything from “smart,” “stupid,” “beautiful,” or “ugly,” to words noting race or religious affiliation or role designation. A label is naturally illuminating  when it describes or conveys important information about the object or subject being labeled, like properly labeled medicine. A label is blinding when it prevents your attention from actually settling directly on the object or subject that you are encountering. It is this kind of label that obstructs authentic contact between Unique Selves. [Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #2 – You Have to Make Authentic Contact in the Present by Marc Gafni

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see other posts on this site or Chapter 21 of the book–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following are seven core rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

2. To have a Unique Self encounter, you  have to make  authentic contact in the present.

c. 2011. Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici.

c. 2011. Photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici.

The second law of Unique Self relationship  is that to have a Unique Self encounter, you have to make authentic contact. Without contact with the Unique Self of the other, no encounter may happen. It is for this reason that Unique Self encounters can take place only in the present. Contact is only possible in the present. The only place your story is ever happening is right now. [Read more…]

Seven Laws of Unique Self Encounter: #1- Each Person Holds a Piece of the Other’s Story

The following is an excerpt from Your Unique Self: The Radical Path to Personal Enlightenment by Dr. Marc Gafni.  For the other 6 laws, see future posts or Chapter 21 of the book–which is available for purchase here.

SEEN FROM ONE PERSPECTIVE, life is a series of encounters with other human beings. Of these encounters, the ones that are most profound, pleasurable, and transformative are Unique Self encounters.  The following is the first of seven rules that define a Unique Self encounter:

Unique Self Encounter Law 1. In every Unique Self encounter, each person holds a piece of the other’s story, which must be returned to the other in order for both to be complete.

(2012) photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici.

(2012) photo courtesy of David Castillo Dominici.

Every person you meet—in a significant meeting—possesses a piece of your story. Some people may have a sentence, others a missing word, while still others may hold a paragraph or even a whole chapter. Significant meetings involve Unique Self encounters.

The ultimate Unique Self encounter may well be with your significant other in life. The person you choose should be the person who can return to you a significant piece of your story, which you have either lost or never found. Conversely, you hold and need to return the missing and magnificent pieces of their story to them. The Unique Self relationship is the committed, caring, dynamic process of discovering just what these missing pieces might be, and puzzling them back together.

A Unique Self encounter, however, is in no sense limited to romantic partners or long-term connections. Others may have pieces of your story, and you of theirs. Nor are Unique Self encounters  limited to your sphere of colleagues, friends, family, neighbors, employers, and employees. A Unique Self encounter may last a minute or a lifetime. You may be riding an elevator with a person you have never met and will never meet again, both of you inching up to the twenty-third floor, and somewhere in your casual conversation, there will be an important message for each of you. Similarly, the person who returns your lost wallet may have more to give back to you than your credit cards.

There is a Unique Self ethos that cannot be externally enforced or legislated, yet it demands a far higher moral standard3D-YourUniqueSelf-Cover than passive public morality. When you have an encounter with another person, you are called on to ask yourself, “Have you brought your Unique Self to the table in the encounter?” And when a Unique Self encounter that should have taken place does not, then we have committed a Unique Self misdemeanor—sometimes even a felony. No one will ever know—except  for you, God, and possibly the person with whom you failed to have an encounter.

A Unique Self encounter may be a wisdom encounter. Through your Unique Self convergence with someone, you gain a deeper insight into your own Unique pleasure, joy, obligation, need, or shadow. A Unique Self encounter can also be action oriented. You and the person you encounter may be agents of change for each other, each of you provoking the other to do something in the world you never otherwise could have done. Encounters take place between teachers and students, between lovers, among friends, in casual acquaintance, or in chance meetings.

The remaining 6 laws will be shared in future blog posts on this site.

You can also purchase Your Unique Self at Amazon.com.>>