Evolutionary Unique Self, Outrageous Love & the Unique Self Symphony (Part 9)

Taken from a first draft text from the forthcoming book The Path and Practice of Outrageous Love by Marc Gafni and Kristina Kincaid, this series elaborates on a critical advancement of the Unique Self Dharma that Dr. Marc has developed after Your Unique Self was published.

Continued from part 8.

Evolutionary We Space

This awakening characterizes the sixth big bang which we discussed in chapter X and marks the formation of Evolutionary We Space, which is the emergence of a higher global wisdom in which each individual has irreducible rights and dignity and at the same time contributes to a larger collective intelligence.

Not only is it possible to awaken, but awakening is the natural and necessary evolutionary expression of this moment. The human being awakening as an irreducibly unique and singular expression of the love intelligence and love beauty that is the initiating and animating Eros of reality is the next evolutionary step. We need to reclaim potency by liberating love from its anthropocentric predicament. But to do so we must close the gap between our ability to feel and our ability to heal.

To close the gap between our ability to feel and heal we clearly must be able to engage in collective action. It certainly appears to be self evident that no individual or even individual government or corporation will be able to close the gap. How do we foster a We Space capable of collective action? How do we form an Evolutionary We Space capable of unfreezing the global action paralysis? Evolutionary Unique Self allows you to reclaim your own personal potency and power. More than that, Evolutionary Unique Self is the technology which facilitates the formation of the Evolutionary We Space. It is precisely such We Space that is required for powerful and effective collective action. The centrality of this idea, which we already outlined in its broad parameters in law X, demands that we engage it in greater depth.

To really understand Evolutionary Unique Self let’s first return to the four selves we briefly unpacked in law X: Separate Self, True Self, Unique Self and Evolutionary Unique Self. To get a clearer sense of this core trajectory in the evolution of self which is ultimately the evolution of love let’s understand each of the selves in terms of a simple but powerful symbol: a puzzle and its puzzle pieces.

The First Experience of Self: Separate Self

A puzzle piece with no puzzle.

The first experience of self is commonly known as separate self, ego self or small self. This is the experience of being a skin-encapsulated ego, separate from other, separate from Source, separate from the larger context. Separate self suggests the experience of being a puzzle piece when there is no larger puzzle.

The puzzle piece feels its unique contours and yearns to connect. Yet many collective voices, including much of contemporary social and psychological theory, tell the puzzle piece there is no larger puzzle. Naturally the puzzle piece feels great angst and pain when told that there is no larger puzzle. The puzzle piece is told by Neo-Darwinians and Freudians that its entire raison d’etre is to survive. The telos-driven, erotic desire for survival is then denuded of its mystery. All of its altruistic desires are reduced to Darwinian survival gambits or Freudian attempts to fulfill on the pleasure principle. You think you want to be close to your mother, says Freud. Really, you just want the pleasure of her milk. The neo-Darwinian says you are moved to cooperate simply because it’s a more effective way of meeting your selfish goals. You have no essential connection to a larger whole. Imagine the puzzle piece trying to walk. It is wobbly and unstable. It has only itself to rely on. It is not held in the context of the larger puzzle. Therefore it lacks stability or ground.

The puzzle piece is devastated when its deepest interior longings and drives are reduced to selfish survival by modernity’s dogma disguised as science. That’s the experience of separate self. Separate self is naturally incapable of forming Evolutionary We Space. Since each self is intrinsically held to be separate, any formation of We Space is artificial at best.

This core myth of separation was and remains the reigning paradigm in economics, science, religion and politics. It has been this way for the last several hundred years. For example, western democracy is based on the core principle of separate self. Every human being is seen as a separate self, or in modern parlance, an individual. The government only exists because a social contract gives the government limited power in order to insure the right of the individual. As political philosopher, Thomas Hobbes, reminded us several hundred years ago, separate selves are in a natural state of war. The social contract made to create states and governments can suspend the state of war for the sake of the selfish gain of every individual. But the We Space of the state can never entirely overcome the essential alienation of separate selves. Separate selves cannot form a genuine We Space. That is why western democracies virtually never access the bold power necessary to end outrageous pain. No one made this more apparent then Samantha Power in what, I think, is one of the most important books of the twentieth century. In A Problem From Hell: America and the Age of Genocide, Power reviews American state department cables, which debated possible responses to the seven attempted genocides of the twentieth century. These include the Armenian Genocide by Turkey, the destruction of the European Jews by Germany, the ethnic cleansing by Serbia in Kosovo, the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the massacre of the Tutsi by the Hutus in Rwanda, and the gassing of the Kurds by Saddam Hussein’s government in Iraq. In each of these cases the United States could have implemented a range of possible responses from strong public censure to military intervention. In each case the United States did virtually nothing[1]. We were faced with outrageous pain. Yet we were not able to respond with outrageous love. We were unable to form an evolutionary We Space. We were unable to manifest a We Space whose collective intelligence demanded outrageous acts of love in the face of outrageous pain.

Democracy in its classical form is not based on the formation of Evolutionary We Space. Instead, separate selves give up some limited rights to a government so that the government will facilitate maximal life, liberty and happiness for the separate selves in its domain. Separate selves do not know how to find sustained access to the outrageous love that lives as the animating and driving essence of reality.

The Second Experience of Self: True Self

One puzzle with no puzzle pieces.

The second experience of self is that of True Self, or what the Buddhists often refer to as No Self. True Self is the experience of being indivisible from the seamless fabric of the universe. True Self heals the alienation of the separate self as you locate your true identity as indivisible from the largest possible context: All That Is. In this experience you’re not a puzzle piece, you are the whole of the puzzle. You feel the entire puzzle arising as you. This indescribable realization changes everything, and has classically been referred to as enlightenment.

Yet within the fullness of True Self, you tend to feel an emerging impulse to individuate. You feel the lines separating you from other puzzle pieces. You’re then told by most spiritual teaching on the nature of enlightenment that those lines are merely illusions. You’re told that if you meditate long enough, you’ll realize there’s only a whole puzzle. You will round out your jagged edges into a smooth circle that flows. Your experience as individual, separate from the whole, is an illusion. Your yearning for individuation is dismissed as the grasping of the ego. This second experience of True Self is no less devastating than the experience of separate self because the natural expression of your uniqueness is denied.

One expression of True Self in political form was state fascism or state communism. The One, however, was not the actual indivisible unity of all that is, but a pseudo monism–meaning simply a pseudo expression of monolithic oneness–namely the State.

From this perspective it is possible to say that fascism is to democracy what the shadow of True Self is to healthy separate self. The State claims to be the One just as True Self is the One. The only true entity was the State. The State is the One. The individual is valuable inasmuch as he or she fulfilled their right function for the larger collective. The results of this system however were tragic. Communism killed more innocent people than perhaps any other force in human history, with the possible exception of Nazism. Clearly the communist alternative did not deliver the heaven on earth that it promised. Indeed heaven quickly becomes hell when the irreducible dignity of the individual is not upheld as an inviolable tenet of any system.

True Self also does not produce collective action because it rests in the perfection of being itself. True Self locates itself in the ground of being itself independent of the ravages of time and human frailty. True Self is thus on some level indifferent to suffering. We Space requires autonomous individuals coming together in communion. We cannot create an Evolutionary We Space capable of collective action as outrageous love if there is only the One and not the many. We Space is formed in the dance between one and many, autonomy and communion. If there is only ‘I am’ then there can ultimately be no ‘We’. Because the individual is effaced before the One of the state, there is no we and, thus, collective action as outrageous love becomes impossible.

The Third Experience of Self: Unique Self
A puzzle piece, which fits perfectly into, and is held by, the larger puzzle.

The third experience of self, Unique Self, is your unique expression of True Self. It is both your unique perspective and your unique intimacy. As Unique Self you realize, while the universe is seamless, it does have features. You are a unique feature of the universe. You have a distinctive personal quality. If your name were Liza, your distinctive personal quality would be your unique Liza-ness. The universe wants to Liza through you. In spiritual terms, we would say God is having a Liza-experience through you living your Unique Self.

You experience yourself as a puzzle piece uniquely connected to the larger puzzle. This experience of your Unique Self is the beginning of wholeness. You’re connected to the larger puzzle through your very precise and unique contours, the jagged edges of your puzzle piece. As your Unique Self, you realize that uniqueness does not foster alienation; quite the opposite, uniqueness is the currency of connection. You connect with others through the unique perspective and uniquely intimate personal quality that form your Unique Self. Your Unique Self experiences True Self through your irreducibly, unique perspective and unique intimacy. As we’ve seen, your Unique Self is the portal to the outrageous love, which is the evolutionary Eros that lives as the essential nature of all reality. Unique Self has the capacity to form Evolutionary We Space. The unique, puzzle-piece essence of you naturally completes some dimension of the larger puzzle, merging with all other puzzle pieces, and locating itself within the larger context without losing its unique identity. Unique Self then fully awakens as Evolutionary Unique Self.

The Fourth Experience of Self: Evolutionary Unique Self
A puzzle piece, which fits into and evolves the whole puzzle.

The experience of Evolutionary Unique Self locates the verb of your Unique Self within a larger narrative. The experience of Unique Self is that of a puzzle piece connected to the two, three, or four pieces that surround it. The interior experience of Evolutionary Unique Self is that it is connected to and evolves the entire expanse of the puzzle.

As you become ever more conscious of your unique qualities, you become ever more sensitized to the unique qualities of others. This is the beginning of radical intimacy. You are connected to every unique feature of the entire puzzle. As Evolutionary Unique Self, your own evolution nourishes and evolves all the other pieces of the puzzle. The part evolves the whole. The whole, in turn, nourishes and evolves your Unique Self. Evolutionary Unique Self is the ultimate expression of intimacy. Evolutionary Unique Self naturally forms Evolutionary We Space. While separateness creates alienation, uniqueness creates intimacy. When you awaken to the realization that your outrageous love is utterly irreplaceable, everything changes. You begin to know the UnLove in the world can only be liberated from its contraction by your unique expression of outrageous love. You awaken to the core delight and purpose of your existence. You are called to directly participate in a way no other human being can—in the evolution of love. You are deeply aware of your puzzle piece nature and you naturally seek connection with other puzzle pieces. You realize you are not separate from them. You also realize you are different from them. In this differentiation you have an unmediated experience of your own uniqueness, your own specialization. You are special. You have a unique perspective, a unique gift to give, and a unique intimacy to manifest. It’s your and yours alone. Jealousy disappears you are able to connect in love with other Evolutionary Unique Selves. Together you form an Evolutionary We Space of Unique Selves. Each of you is an irreducibly unique expression of the love intelligence and love beauty of all that is. Uniqueness is the exchange bonding you into a larger symphonic whole, with each instrument playing its own particular melody. Each melody is music. The music is outrageous love.

Hence, Evolutionary We Space is formed by individuals who have resolved the paradox of autonomy and communion by living in the consciousness of Evolutionary Unique Self. At earlier levels of self-evolution there is a natural historical tension between autonomy and communion. You are either independent or dependent. You are either separate from or a part of the larger community. Autonomy was thought to be self-referencing for its integrity and wholeness, while communion was seen to be other-referencing for its integrity and wholeness. The distinction between the two is core to the way we live our lives and make our decisions in all areas from personal relationship to governance. Communion is thought to come at the expense of autonomy, and autonomy at the expense of communion.

At the higher and more awakened levels of consciousness this distinction breaks down. Autonomy is expressed by radical uniqueness and uniqueness is the distinct, self, puzzle piece that yearns to connect to and complete the puzzle. Uniqueness is an expression of the integrity of autonomy. Unique means independent and unlike any other. Uniqueness is also necessary for communion. A unique puzzle piece, cell or any unique part is completed by its fitting into a larger whole. In Evolutionary We Space each individual expresses the full power of their uniqueness and at the same time all of the Unique Selves are in service of the larger We Space communion. What emerges is a collective wisdom synergized by all of the masterminds forming a larger metamind without losing their individual integrity. Outrageous love allows for the collapse of the opposition between autonomy and communion. It is outrageous love that allows unique individuals to come together in a larger whole, not only without losing their individual integrity, but with an actual deepening of that very individuality. Evolutionary We Space is the most powerful expression of outrageous love.

When you enter Evolutionary We Space you are fully awake and alive giving your unique gift. Your Unique Gift is your superpower. You access the God that lives as you. You are literally a superhero. It is only through this progression that you actually become the hero of your own life. To awaken as evolutionary unique self is to feel evolution awakening in you and as you. You have a lived experience that the world needs something essential that can only be provided by you. This emerges not from your ego, but from your essence. In the old world, success meant you were the only superhero in your neighborhood. In creating a future of Evolutionary We Spaces, we identify that we are actually a legion of super heroes acting together, playing together and creating together. We write each other outrageous love letters. We arouse, in a sustained and unabashed manner, our genuine love for each other. We create a larger domain of wisdom in the space “in between” us.

Remember Phil Jackson, the great basketball coach who brought the LA Lakers and the Chicago Bulls to a series of championships? He talked about this phenomenon of Evolutionary We Space when he said, “The subtle interweaving of the players at full speed to the point where they’re thinking and moving as one.” This image is important because in it each player is excelling. Each player is a star. Each player is a unique expression of human grace and gift, and yet when they come together into this Evolutionary We Space they begin to operate in a larger organismic mode. The individual in no way disappears, and yet a deeper and wider intelligence emerges.

One participant in an exercise designed to evoke Evolutionary We Space gave this description. She wrote, “When someone else spoke, it felt as if I were speaking. When I did speak, it was virtually egoless, like it wasn’t really me in the small sense. It’s as if something larger was speaking through me. And in that space we started to create. We started to say things we’ve never thought of before.”

The core of this technology was already known in the inner circle of esoteric wisdom throughout the ages. In the Hebrew mysticism of Kabbalah, it is said the voice of the Shekinah, the goddess speaks from within the community that comes together to enact a shared vision. Hebrew mystics in the third century wrote, “Whenever ten people gather with clear and holy intention, the Shekinah, She, the goddess, speaks from their mouth.” Or Matthew, in the New Testament: “Whenever two or three gather in my name, I am in the midst of them.” Aurobindo, the modern Hindu mystic, talks about the evolution of truth consciousness in which they–the We Space–feel themselves to be “the embodiment of a single self”. Rudolf Steiner, the great theosophist wrote, “People awake through each other, and then real communal spirituality descends on our workplace.”

If you’re living in True Self, you’re absorbed in the one, and your unique voice merges into silence. If you are living as separate self, the different voices all try and shout the loudest in order to be heard. But Evolutionary We Space creates a larger collective intelligence and is a direct function of shared Unique Self experience. The technology that creates an Evolutionary We Space is Unique Self. Through the unique contours of your puzzle piece, each member of the group merges with and completes both themselves and the larger whole. The Unique Self experience is both the heart of the phenomenon of collective intelligence and the key to its emergence in any given situation. Said simply, Evolutionary We Space is only a genuine possibility if we deploy the awakened technology of Unique Self-realization. Very few pleasures in life compare to the awakened We Space of Unique Selves living together. It was toward this pleasure that Teilhard de Chardin pointed when he said, “The immense fulfillment of the friendship between those engaged in furthering the evolution of consciousness has a quality impossible to describe.”

[1] The only exception was Bill Clinton’s bombing of Kosovo. In Powers well-documented analysis, however, Clinton on issued the bombing because his presidential rival, Bob Dole, had made Clinton’s inaction in Kosovo a campaign issue.

To be continued…