Eros and Pseudo-Eros – Part 3

From Your Unique Self by Dr. Marc Gafni

…continued from part 2:

Puzzle In Sky by Idea go,

by Idea go

Eros is the graceful, wondrous infinity of Unique Self.

So many of the great teachers of spirit demand that humans give up their sense of being a unique part in order to realize the Eros of union and even absorption into the whole. But despite their best attempts, most of the world refuses to heed this perennial teaching. This is not because we are bad or weak. Rather, it is because there is something in the teaching, or the way it is taught, that seems to contradict our basic intuition. The result is that many seekers end up feeling that they are fundamentally failures. And this in turn causes the horrific pain of inadequacy. People who feel inadequate may become vengeful, capable of inflicting untold suffering on themselves and those around them.

Here we find the double bind of every human being, and of humanity as a whole: You want pure existence, value, and transcendence. You want Eros. You are taught that full Eros is achieved by dying to your separate self—and that to die to your separate self you must reject your Uniqueness. Uniqueness is explicitly and implicitly conflated—wrongly—with separateness. Yet your most profound intuition tells you that this is wrong, a violation of a higher truth. So you are left stuck in your egoic separate self with only pseudo-Eros to comfort you.

Here is the key point: Once you realize that by giving up your separate self you do not give up your Uniqueness—both the source and substance of your existence—the contraction of your ego is released, and the door to the next stage of the evolution of consciousness is opened. You can realize the fullness of your Eros through the realization of your Uniqueness, which is the puzzle-piece nature of your part-ness, through which you merge with the larger whole.

This is the third part of a 3-part series on Eros and Pseudo-Eros. Read part 1 and 2.