Eros and Pseudo-Eros – Part 2

From Your Unique Self by Dr. Marc Gafni

…continued from part 1:

by Evgeni Dinev,

by Evgeni Dinev

In ego death you move from being isolated and a-part to being part of a larger whole, part of the infinitely loving spaciousness of God rising through and as every moment. You enter the orgasmic process of divine penetration and purification. This is the stage of disillusionment, in which the shadowy specter of being merely a separate self dies into the love and bliss of participating in the original evolving wholeness.

In virtually all the great traditions, the circle is a symbol of Eros. In pseudo-Eros, you create the illusion of being in the circle by placing someone else outside of it. The realization that ego death is required is not understood. So death becomes displaced—the death of the other guy. Since he is outside the circle of Eros, which is life, he deserves to die. True Eros means the deep knowing that everyone is inside the circle, that everyone holds a unique and irreplaceable place in the great wholeness of All-That-Is.

The first part of the Great Story of the evolution of consciousness requires the emergence of the separate self from the prior embeddedness in the all-absorbing womb of the Great Mother, in all of her guises, from mother nature to pre-rational magic to mother church. This is the movement from the pre-personal to the first stage of the personal—the separate-self ego with all of the rights, responsibilities, and self-worth that being a separate self implies. It is this trajectory of the evolution of consciousness that culminates in the Western enlightenment conception, with its affirmation of the human rights and dignity of the separate individual. Without the birth of ego, the evolution of human consciousness beyond the pre-personal indignity cannot take place. The second part of the great evolution of consciousness requires dying to the separate self in the realization of True Self, which when refracted through the Unique Perspective of the individual, is revealed to be Unique Self. Without ego death, the evolution of human consciousness beyond brutality and terror cannot take place.


For the first time in human history, with the emergence of the separate-self ego, murder and large-scale warfare purely for the sake of conquest was born. The skull grins, but the skull now belongs to the other guy.

Ernest Becker, Norman O. Brown, and others have documented the precise connection between the emergence of the separate self and murder. Murder expresses itself in both religious ritual and the political ritual of war.

Kings begin to list their conquests with special emphasis on the number of victims brutally butchered on the other side. One ruler recorded this through his scribe: “As we wound and kill our enemies in the field, our love for each other deepens.”  This is the classic horrifying distortion of pseudo-Eros. Pseudo-Eros is only necessary when true Eros cannot be found. Pseudo-Eros is the desperate grasping of the separate self for immortality.

This is the second part of a 3-part series on Eros and Pseudo-Eros. Stay tuned for the next part!